I am on home leave...

from rehab...I've been rehabilitated? Re-educated? Brainwashed? I was referred in September 05 for drug and alcohol problems so this is my last month of rehabilitation. I've been extremely good so I'm on home leave. In the last 6 months I've learned how to fake a urine test without getting piss all over my hands and how much I hate communal living. I'm sat in my parents house nearly shitting my pants because all of a sudden the choice is all mine.

Here I am...

I've been in Amsterdam for a nice break...I broke my foot...hard luck aye in the light of recent events in London. I read that the people who detonated the bombs were British, not that it matters, it doesn't matter what colour or religion they were it's their readiness to kill innocent people that bothers. I know I'm going to get a slating for saying this but "ring out your Mosques"...stop protecting these cold blooded murderers. I can't and don't believe that in such a close knit community such as the British Muslim one, that people don't notice the change in the ones they're closest too. The KIDS responsible went to fucking terrorist boot camp for fucksake and came home unchanged? My fucking asshole! If you don't like Britain, if you hate the Western Way why don't you all go back to living where it suits your beliefs?

I just made a carrot cake...

it's absolutely crap. How will I ever trap a man if the only way to his beating heart is through his stomach? Surely that's a lie? "Hi, I'm Camilla, I make the best semolina in the world and beyond."

Why can't somebody clever make all vegetables taste

like the potatoe? My nephew will not eat vegetables such as carrots, cabbage, beans, cauliflour...all the usual suspects, he'll eat potatoes though...he likes the taste. I expect there are lots of children and adults who are missing out on nutrients from vegetables because they dislike the taste so why can't the greater powers that be change the flavour of food that tastes like shit? While I'm on the taste subject, why can't chocolate be made to taste foul, I love chocolate and it loves my hips and thighs...sooo much, is there something I can do besides to use my own will-power to stop me from eating it...I don't have enough strength to deny myself my fix of chocolate everyday but if it didn't taste so fucking nice I wouldn't crave it. Oh shit I don't know, I'd kill for a twix right now.

Only boring people get bored...

I am bored...bored...bored...bored...it's the summer here in the U.K but we're not having much sun...lots of clouds which I love and rain which right now I don't love...Rain is cool when there's two of you and you're in-lurve and you're running through a park scantily clad looking like a pair of fucking drowned mutant rat dog type thing. I have my period...I'm feeling bitter.

I love the personals for comedy value...

just recently I came across this one:Tall, dark hair, eyes, good looking young 42yr old male seeks female...I hope he finds a female with eyes, it'll be a match made in personal ad heaven. I'm so tempted to reply, just to ask him how many eyes he has.

I need to get a life....

yes I'm grumbling again. I work, I do voluntary support work, I run every morning and every evening except for Saturday...I watch what I eat most of the time, I rarely socialise these days. Boring isn't it. I know I'm luckier than most, I have a roof over my head, food in my belly but Jesus Jones I feel like a robot. My good friends tell me I need a man, I've had several sometimes in just one day so men are out of the picture unless they're just wanting a platonic friendship. I am living the life of a nun.